Okay, of course this is the first thing i have to talk about on here.

You know about the ortolan? it's a really small endangered bird.

Funny thing about this bird, if you enclose it in a small cage in the dark as to make it anxious, make him feed himself until he "seems Nothing more than a ball of fat" then enclose it in a small bottle of armagnac until he drowns, you'll get a delicious dish that was once really popular amongst kings or other noblemen, even politics until really recently, when this practice has been apparently made illegal, because of evident animal cruelty.

why am i telling you about this you may ask, first thing i may discuss it is that it has been appart of meme culture for a bit in France, notably using extracts of Maité's tv show (a french cook that hosted a show on tv back in the days, i think the purpose of the show was just this fun and wholesome lady showing you how to cook Something or whatev). back in the 90's she showed how to cook an ortolan and more importantly how to feast with legendary quote: "et je commence a lui sucer le derriere" loose translation: "and then i start sucking up his butt" because that the second and most important Reason why i'm telling you about this, eating an ortolan is really codified, almost ritualistic.

The horrendous process of cooking the ortolan makes it so it's flesh is strictly fat, no muscles, and that it's skin is so smooth you Don't need any cutlery, so the process would to take the small bird with your bare hands and suck it up starting from the ass of the creature going up your way sucking each bone until eating the head, this process resulting in having your face covered in liquor-drenched bird fat, introducing the tradition of covering your head with an expensive white cloth as to try and preserve a bit of dignity during your little snack. A saying says it would also serve to "hide yourself from god during such a grotesque act" wich i only partly Believe, the hygiene thing seems more believable but i guess a bunch of rich guys surely enjoy not only the culinary aspects of this dish but also the transgression and obscenity of it.

Now that's out of the way let me introduce you to the whole Reason of this page, enjoy this collection of cult-looking dinner time photos, all of these hold a special place in my heart, out of context those sure would feel like some weird shit is going on, but Don't worry, there really is Something weird going on here.

If for some obscure reason you would like to discuss this or other strange culinary traditions, or are in possession of other photos of bird eating rituals, or would like to discuss anything else send an email at: luciddyinginc@gmail.com